It has been a while since I have written here. The coronavirus came and everything changed. I stay in my house, see nobody, go nowhere. There is no eating out, no movies on the big screen, no live shopping, no sports (and currently restarting them is becoming a very bad idea). My world has become my husband, my cats, my computer, my books, my garden. We have decided I can still go over to my best friend’s house and see her and her family. But that is it. My world has shrunk like a raisin.
And this time, mental health is not at fault. Neither is pain. I am not without those issues and both have reacted to my changing world, but they are not running the show. For once, the world has shifted to my level and anxiety, depression, and pain have become the norm. I wish it were not so. I hope for everyone’s sake this ends soon. My fight has become the world’s fight: getting over, under, or through these forces that bind us to ourselves and away from the world.
My next step (in this blog here) is to start opening to the world again. I have lots of backed-up stories to tell you. I have tried new and different things for living with pain – and found one that works for me a lot (medical cannabis) as well as others that worked to differing degrees. I attended GenCon for the first time (it was online). I’m meeting new people online through Zoom and other tools. And I’ve made some big decisions about how I need to live my life to make me better. And I will post about those and other experiences as I can get the writing done.
My biggest realization is this: I am a writer. Not a successful one yet (and maybe never), but writing is what I do. Knowing this, I need to do more of it. And I will.