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My drugs have drugs

One of my drugs went bad. It was a new drug that worked great for a couple of weeks and then turned on me and had me seeing things and hearing voices. Those are not side effects I can live with.

I am so tired of all this. I am on maybe 15 drugs for a mix of physical and mental conditions. Some drugs I take because other drugs have caused problems. I have to treat my drugs. Other drugs I have been on forever. And have a handful of prescriptions laying over top of them, without any examination of whether to remove the old drugs.

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

Last night, I told my husband that I would no longer take half of the drugs. He got very upset and talked me back into taking them. (It is the psych meds – I have treatment resistant depression and PTSD).

I don’t know where to go from here. I can talk with my doctors – again. I cannot really get a second opinion because insurance won’t pay for that at this stage of the game. Do I just plan on staying on these pills forever? They all have side effects I would rather not live with – dizziness and mental confusion are the worst. But I also refuse to be the psych patient who goes off drugs and does something bad.

Does anyone reading this have experience with reevaluating pills that they have been on for an extended time? (My longest is 20+ years). Please comment below and let me know. I am really asking for answers here.

Now I am dizzy, cognitively impared. It feels kinda drunk. But without the happy parts. And I am trying to write – fearful that my words come out sounding like a 4th grader. I will be back when I figure out something else to say.

By Johanna

Writer, reader, person living with a disability, cat-mom, learner, mystic. J.D./Ph.D. from Ohio State. Can be found writing a speculative fiction novel, or about women's soccer and life with chronic pain.

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