I’ve just weathered a nasty fibro flare. It lasted about a week. But now, I am starting to get used to pulling out my tool kit and actually using it when flares happen. I still have to stop, think, and give myself permission and I look forward to the day when it is just automatic. Here’s how this one went.
I started feeling bad, and as soon as I felt bad, I gave myself permission to stop. I stopped doing things around the house. I stopped writing. I stopped everything that was on the supposed to list. This is very hard for me – that list is still big and lurking.
Instead, I gave myself permission to do whatever felt best to my battered body and mind. I took naps, I went to bed early or slept in late. I played video games, I watched TV. (YouTube plug here for Norwegian train videos. They mount a camera on the front of the train and you travel with it in real time. It’s amazingly soothing,)
I gave myself permission not to be able to read or write in large amounts. When I hurt my brain fog moves in. It is hard to read something like a novel where I have to focus and remember what happened from one reading to another. Luckily, I had a number of magazines arrive – and their articles are much more within my ability when I feel bad.
I picked back up my crochet. Every time I drop it for a while, I forget just how soothing the repetitive action is. I’m sure most other hand-work hobbies are the same from weaving beads to painting miniatures.
I gave myself permission to ask folks around me for stuff. I think it was mostly my husband filling my water bottle or getting me drinks. But we went over to my best friend’s house and I just sat in the comfy chair all day. I had my bag with crochet and my Kindle and they all brought conversation and activity to me – which feels really nice.
As I started to feel better, I began to take the little energy I had and use it to help others. 1) I cooked easy dinners for myself and my husband, 2) I started decorating a tree outside for the birds and the holiday, and 3) I went onto Quora to cheer on and advise people who were having problems with depression and school.
Now, I am mostly emerged from it. I am tired and sore all over – but not as bad as before. Now I am starting to turn to that list of things that needs done, but I’m still giving myself permission to go slowly. If I get a thing or two done in a day, then that’s fine.